Don’t stalk your ex on Venmo

Hello again! Just another prideful article from Katherine M. Blanner about breakups.

There’s really not much worse than a breakup. You’re facing the true heartache, the truest form of rejection, and the absolute tragedy that is ending things with a long-term significant other.

Here’s my gift to you… an article about how you have to survive breakups. It’s like a virtual breakup care package.

  1. Change something about yourself. The past is dead, and so is that version of you. Get a haircut, dye your hair, get a new wardrobe. Whatever. Do that one thing that you told your ex about in confidence that they rejected. Be modest, though. If you go too crazy, you’ll look crazy.
  2. Make a breakup playlist. Find solace in songs. My favorite is this: 
  1. Do NOT stalk your ex on anything… If things went south, it might be a great idea to actually block them on a lot of stuff. I’m talking Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Venmo if you have to. Don’t revisit the past. Revisiting that situation is like smoking cigarettes when you’re already on chemo for lung cancer. It’s… bad. 
  2. Delete all your Snapchat memories. Delete their pictures in your phone. If you’re uncomfortable with that, upload them to your computer in a secret, password protected folder. Don’t open it. 
  3. Remember you’re goddamn gorgeous because you need to know that again.
  4. Find a new hobby. 
  5. Rekindle all the friendships you lost because of the attention and time your manchild needed. They’ll probably be forgiving to you, because they have had gross boyfriends, too. Plus it also helps that they all hated him from day one but were too polite to tell you.
  6. Forgive him, forgive that situation, and forgive that part of your life.
  7. Make sure that, even if you can’t fully forgive them, that you take steps to find your own inner peace.
  8. Let yourself feel things again.

These are just some ideas that I have compiled over the years. What’s your go-to breakup coping?

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